Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Urinals and why I hate them

Warning: there is a substantial amount of toilet talk in the below paragraphs.
As a human male, I am presented with two choices when I walk into a public restroom (unless you want to get creative with the sink): the toilet and urinal. When faced with this wretched choice, I freely admit that I am strictly a toilet-user. I despise urinals. I don't think I've used a urinal in two years, since I happened to get pee spray all over myself after my stream ricocheted off of the porcelain you are forced to aim at, making me smell like urine all day (at least in my mind). I don't even pee standing up at the toilet either. I don't really want to aim when I pee. Sure, it can be fun every once in a while, but it just seems like I have to work to not get piss all over myself or the seat. And no one wants to do work while they are urinating.
And as a plus, sitting down when you pee gets rid of all of those nasty urine drops that are stuck in your shaft and find a way to drip down your pant leg at the most inconvenient of times. I can't really explain why, but it's true.
So yes, world. I am PROUDLY a "sittin' down pee-er." I don't care what anyone thinks.

Here are Tim and Eric (from Tim & Eric Awesome Show Great Job!) rapping about peeing and sitting down. It makes me feel less alone in this world.

As a side note, I love how this post turned into a sort of endorsement for sitting down when you pee, rather than a rant about how stupid urinals are. Oh well.

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