Thursday, August 28, 2008

Guitar Praise: Solid Rock

Everyone knows that musicians get loads of poon; especially if the instrument the person plays happens to be a guitar. Well, we've all heard of Guitar Hero, and while it may not get you the poon playing real guitar will, most people agree that it's pretty awesome.
And as with any awesome game, it has spawned imitators. From cheaply put together games to equally successful ones (*cough*ROCKBAND*cough*), GH has seen its share. But there is a new game on the horizon:
You can rock alongside Jesus himself (for the low price of $99.95) with the new game "Guitar Praise: Solid Rock." Featuring songs by such famous Christian bands as Relient K, Flyleaf, 12 Stones, Pillar, Skillet, and more. It comes with a guitar that looks identical to the Guitar Hero one, but is only for the PC and Mac.
Key features include (my favorite part is bolded):

-Features hit songs from popular Christian rock bands
-Includes wireless USB guitar controller.
-Two guitars can be connected at the same time, so two guitarists can play together -either on the same track or one on lead, the other on bass.
-Players press the fret buttons and strum on the strum bar in time to the color-coded notes as they scroll onscreen.
-Offers over 50 songs with 4 levels of play per song - from easy to expert. Beginners start slowly, but soon their fingers will be flying; - just like a real guitarist.
-Onscreen lyrics reflect Christian values. Vocalists can sing their hearts out as their friends play the guitar.
-Record keeping lets players store high scores per song and unlock new songs in sets of six as they progress through the game and post their scores online.
-Players can also earn new guitars with richer sounds and different effects.
-Works on Windows and Mac computers.
Why is it that when anything religious is released, it sounds ridiculously corny and un-hip? Christian values? Sing their hearts out? Wow, Guitar Praise, you've made the perfect game for me. Where have you been all my life?
But seriously, why release this? Are there not enough Christian items out there? Can't we worship Jesus without ruining the sanctity of Guitar Hero? I'm not even a fan of the game and I think this is terrible.
I highly reccomend you watch the video on the front page of this site. It's hilarious, and features a modern Christian family playing the game...on a TV! I think the power of Christ himself turned their computer into a television. Oh, that wacky Jesus, always turning one thing into another.
Click here for the purchase page for this terrible knockoff.

EDIT: It seems that the exact same site has a DDR clone named Dance Praise, where you can rythmically convulse to songs by established Christian techno artists like Seven Day Jesus and Out of Eden. Buy it here (thanks Maggie).

Via Geekologie


Anonymous said...

If you watch the video there's a computer by the TV (which I looked up and it has a DVI input in the back)...

T. Walters said...

Oh, whatever.
It's still ridiculous.

JScully said...

I was honestly going to write the exact same thing. However, it seems that anon beat me to it.