Friday, September 19, 2008

Irrelevance (T.W. #1)

For those of you wondering, Danny and I are going to start doing these regularly. They are basically a bunch of non-sequiturs that are too short for an actual post, but too good to not post. It was his idea, and I sort of stole it. Love you, Daniel.

Reese's Peanut Butter Cups
One of my favorite comedians, the late and great Mitch Hedberg, once pointed out that the candy Reese's has an apostrophe followed by an "s," signifying ownership. He then went on to say that if someone named Reese walked up to you and asked you for your Reese's, you'd better give it to him. It's a funny joke, but is only used here so I can write about one of my least favorite things in the world.
Have you ever peeled the wax paper off of the bottom of a Reese's peanut butter cup, only to have the bottom layer of chocolate come with it too? I personally believe that that is one of the worst things that can happen to a human. Fuck AIDS, fuck cancer, we need to start a charity dedicated to figuring out how to prevent this tragedy from happening to normal, everyday people.

I love politics, but dislike how divided America has become over this next election. Maybe it's because I'm extremely aware of this one and haven't noticed it in the past, but it seems to me like this election is a lot more divided than any one in recent memory.
Barack Obama has my vote, shoot me. McCain and Palin seem like they would do little to no good for us (especially that twat Palin); and I definitely am with the people that think McCain would be like G.W. Bush part deux.
Does that anger you, McCain supporters? This is the exact sort of division that I am talking about. You are living proof!

Brain Thrust Mastery
We Are Scientists is one of my absolute favorite bands (as evident by my (fuck you, Danny)). When their newest album, Brain Thrust Mastery was released a few months ago, I didn't like it. At all. But lately, I've fallen in love with it. It isn't as good as their major-label debut, With Love and Squalor, but it definitely isn't terrible. It's weird how you can warm up to music like that, isn't it? I do that often.

Modern Guilt
I don't mean to turn this into a bunch of mini-album reviews, but since I'm talking about warming up to albums, I think this would be a good time to bring up Beck's new album Modern Guilt. I hate this album. Beck is an absolute genius, but I can't bring myself to like or listen to this album. To me, it's one of his worst. And since rumors are circulating that he might retire, I'm especially down by this. I wish it was better, at least to me. Everyone else seems to fucking love it.

I was at Fry's grocery store, and the very obviously gay cashier was flirting with me. I didn't return his advances (obviously), but he flirted on. I don't have a problem with gay people at all, but why flirt with me when it is clear that I myself am not gay? I'm not going to have a sexual epiphany just because you throw a few winks my way. I don't get it.

It's weird how the smallest things can make you think about death. I sliced my finger open on a broken Snapple bottle, and immediately thought about how fragile we are as humans. It doesn't really take that much to kill us, and that thought scares me sometimes. Death doesn't, but being unaware of the fact that I'm dying does. If I grow old and am on my deathbead, or have a fatal disease, I'll welcome it. But if I get in a car accident and have to spend a week on life support, I will be more scared than I have ever been in my entire life.
Then again, I cut my fucking finger on a piece of a Snapple bottle.

Tobacco products
I want to say this: I don't mind cigarettes and cigars. They are fine by me. As the son of a parent that has smoked for 24+ years, you'd think I would have an aversion to it, but that is not the case. I'm not going to pick up smoking myself, nor am I going to look down on others for doing it, but it simply is not for me. Sure, I smoke a cigar or cigarette every once in a while, but only socially. But like I said, I refuse to let myself do it more often than that.
I just think it is really, really funny when people say that they aren't going to become addicted. Numerous tests have been done, and the general consensus is that TOBACCO IS ADDICTING. Shocking, isn't it? The last two or three generations have been obsessed with smoking. You would think we'd learn something from them.

Organ donations
It blows my mind when I hear that some people aren't organ donors. Assuming you are a moderately healthy person, why wouldn't you want to donate them if you were in a car accident or something? Save a life! Just because you don't have yours anymore doesn't mean they shouldn't either. And hey, it's not like you'll be using them.

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