Does the combination of wavy, overly-moussed hair, an open Hawaiian shirt with a wifebeater, and striped pants remind you of anything? No? Maybe this will help refresh your memory:
Yes, that is correct. Hollywood is continuing to destroy classic Jim Carrey movies by giving them unnecessary sequels. This atrocity is called "Ace Ventura Jr." Here is the official plot synopsis:
“Allrighty-then. After his African adventure in “Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls,” Ace returned to Florida, married girlfriend Melissa (Ann Cusack) and became the doting father of a baby boy. Never one to sit still, Ace’s curious nature took him on another remote case. The goofball gumshoe was never to be seen or heard from again.
Single mom Melissa couldn’t fully put the past behind her. Now a zookeeper, she and Ace Jr. (Flitter) have made a life carrying on without her husband. Much to Melissa’s chagrin, however, 12-year-old Ace Jr. has begun to follow in his father’s comic footsteps. He has recently become a pet detective for the 7th grade set, often trying to recover classmates’ missing pets, and always with big mishaps.
But when a master animal thief abducts a baby panda and his mom is wrongly arrested of the crime, Ace Jr. must jump into action. Now, with the help of pals Laura and tech wizard A-Plus, young Ace must bring the thief to justice and do his inane and lovable dad’s memory justice.”
So wait...they seriously fucking killed off Ace Ventura to make this shitty movie? Seriously? That is what this is saying, right? They killed off one of the funniest characters of the 90's, just to make some movie about a fatass kid with boy-boobs that vaugely looks and acts like his movie "father?" I'm assuming Carrey didn't want to do a sequel, so they gave him a big "fuck you!" by killing Ace. What shitty, shitty people.
But seriously, do they really think this could possibly be a successful movie? Let's take a look back on the Carrey-less sequels of yesteryear, shall we?
All box office grosses are worldwide totals. As always, the movie title links take you to the posters.
Dumb and Dumber VS. Dumb and Dumberer
Years released: 1994 and 2003 (9 year wait)
Production budgets: $17 million and $19 million ($2 million difference)
Box office grosses: $247.2 million and $39.2 million ($208 million difference)
Rotten Tomatoes scores: 60% and 10% (50% difference)
The Mask VS. Son of the Mask
Years released: 1994 and 2005 (11 year wait)
Production budgets: $23 million and $84 million ($61 million difference)
Box office grosses: $351.6 million and $57.6 million ($294 million difference)
Rotten Tomatoes scores: 75% and 5% (70% difference)
Bruce Almighty VS. Evan Almighty
Years released: 2003 and 2007 (4 year wait)
Production budgets: $81 million and $175 million ($94 million difference)
Box office grosses: $484.6 million and $173.4 million ($311.2 million difference)
Rotten Tomatoes scores: 49% and 23% (26% difference)
There is not one movie among these three that has made even close to what the originals did. Even better, all of these sequels cost more to make than the originals. And even better, only one of them made more money than the production costs (D&D 2). After a bit of calculation, I found out that these movie studios wasted $278 million on these three movies. Do you realize how much money that is? Seriously? You could buy this Jackson Pollock painting, and still have around $148 million left. At least a bunch of paint splatters has some artistic value, unlike these pieces of shit.
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