Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Why I hate mainstream music part 3 of 3: Rap

Rap is a genre of music that I have never really gotten into. For some strange, mind-boggling reason, I just can't take the "artists" seriously.
A perfect example of why is expertly illustrated in the video and song for Three 6 Mafia's song "Lolli Lolli" (featuring no less than 37 "guest rappers").
Unfortunately, Three 6 Mafia's official YouTube account won't let you embed their videos. How lame is that? It's free promotion, you douchebags. Not even user-posted versions of the same video are able to be embedded. Wow. It could be because YouTube is down for maintenance though.
Anyways, click here to go to the page for the video and watch it. Come on, for me? At least watch one minute of the terrible, horrible, gut-grabbing green screen effects. Isn't that state of the art? Look at the way Project Pat stands on the back of that "whip" they be drivin'. That Pat, always up to those craaaaazy shenanigans. Tsk tsk.
As with the last two, here is an exerpt from the extremely well-written lyrics:
Now Lordy, Lordy
Please Lord have some mercy
This girl is throwing judy
I think she bout to hurt me
See she went front to back
And she went side to side
I seem them black hitch hickers
I think I need a ride
One front and for the pills
Gotta lil bag o' that cola
The other one's pulling weed
And see my other bit's stola
See ain't no dancing do
But I can lay like a cholo
See why don't you go with me cause I can't go home solo?
I was curious as to what the term "Judy" meant, so I searched Urban Dictionary. The three definitions are:

1. A person who is very hott.
2. To be "Clean" or "Fresh".
3. a girlfriend/girl who's a pill-popper
I'm going to go ahead and assume he's talking about the third one, since later in the verse he talks about pills and weed. So wait, this girl was "throwin' Judy," which means that she was throwin' another girl? Maybe he got his definition mixed up and meant just pills themselves. Maybe I'm just giving him a hard time. Maybe.
But I wonder if the members of Three 6 Mafia know what the term "loli" means. I'm going to go back to my buddy Urban Dictionary to show you.

1. Hentai that contains underage females in sexual situations.
Sure, it has one less "L," but phonetically, it is no different (depending on who you talk to; some say it's "low-lee"). What the fuck it THREE SIX MAFI-UH promoting? Pedophilia? Whatever.
Let's take a look at a picture of this group, shall we?
And you wonder why I can't take rap seriously.

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