Tuesday, October 7, 2008

An exercise in ridiculousness #1 - Tom Selleck birthday cake

This is a new section I'm starting where I'm going to attempt to explain the story behind some strange pictures I find on the internet. This idea was proposed to me by my friend Vance, so thanks to him for that. Yeah.I'm starting this off with one of my favorite pictures of all time: Emma's Tom Selleck birthday cake. I found this picture a few months ago while surfing the web looking for interesting cakes. This one stood out to me for three reasons:

1) Tom Selleck's sprinkle chest hair.
2) The cutesy "Hairy Birthday Emma."
3) It's motherfucking Magnum P.I. On a cake. Does it get much cooler than that? I think not.

But my absolute favorite feature is the look on Tom's face. He looks so gruff and manly, despite being surrounded by iced pink flowers and pastel green letters. It takes a real man to be comfortable with his masculinity in that sort of bizarre situation.
You have to be amazed at the craftsmanship that this cake displays too. It's not often that I get to say this about a birthday cake with a beefcake iced on top, but it's gorgeous. I'm assuming this was the picture that they were given:
It's like a mirror made of icing! Major props to whoever baked that fucker. They did a great job. But I wonder if this was a "gag cake," or if Emma is seriously attracted to Tom Selleck. It isn't uncommon to have a crush on the Selleck-ster, I mean look at him! That 'stache has tickled many-a-vag. He looks like a man of experience. And cigars. And brandy.

1 comment:

Chonch said...

I laughed so fucking hard at this. Seriously, this cake couldn't be topped.
"What'd you do for your birthday?"
"I ate Tom Selleck. Bitch."

This is a blog in the tradition of Seinfeld, and I loves it.