If you know me well, you probably know that I drink a lot of original Coca-Cola. I mean, we are talking anywhere from 3-8 cans a day here. It's gross, and it has likely turned my blood into high-fructose corn syrup. But there is a soda out there that rivals the palatability of this carmel-colored behemoth, in my personal opinion:
This "tropical lime Mountain Dew drink" is available exclusively via fountain beverage-spewer at Taco Bell locations nationwide, and it has been for quite a while now. This is an atrocity. Whomever decided to make this exclusive to such a sub-par, fast food, "Mexican" chain is out of their fucking mind. If this was sold in can or 20 oz bottle form, my fridge would be glowing that flourescent green that lets you know you should not be drinking something that is so unnatural-looking. Sure, it kills you, drinking something like this. But it kills you slowly, and in the best way possible. It's like someone coming up from behind you and slitting your throat during sex: do you stop what you are doing, just because you realize that you are dying, or do you keep doing something that is so fantastic that it makes your insides feel like a reborn Phoenix? I'd choose the latter, every single time.
There must be some sort of law prohibiting this from being canned or bottled. Taco Bell must own the rights to the drink permanently or something. There are about a zillion online petitions, begging and pleading for Mountain Dew to solve this conundrum. This, of course, is completely pointless, but it's good to know I'm not alone in my epic battle for public tropical lime drink availability. I guess I'm just going to have to be content with waiting 15 minutes in a drive-thru just to get a large, neon-green soda.